It is indeed by God’s will that events take place in people’s lives. This is the relationship between people’s efforts and God’s will. If the man and his wife truly desire such a reconciliation, but are only prevented from doing so by strong feelings of anger, then a serious effort by the arbiters will he successful, with God’s help: “If they both want to set things aright, God will bring about their reconciliation.” Their own desire to bring about reconciliation is endorsed by God, who responds favourably to their serious wish. The arbiters meet in order to try to achieve reconciliation. Indeed, it is in their interest to keep them secret, unknown to other people. Neither of them has an interest in publicising these secrets. They must also keep the family secrets because they belong to the two immediately concerned families. They must try to achieve what is best for the husband, the wife and their children. Neither of them may entertain thoughts of forcing a submission by the other party. They care for the welfare of the children. These arbiters must be keen to protect the reputation of both families. An arbiter from each of the two families of the husband and the wife meet in a friendly atmosphere, away from the influences which have caused the relationship between the husband and the wife to be strained and free from all the complications which overshadow the constructive elements in the life of the family. Islam recommends that this last measure be resorted to when a breach is feared, not after it takes place. This institution is very dear to Islam because it supplies the society with its new members whom it needs for its continued development and progress. Nor does it approve that this institution be left to collapse over the heads of its other members who may be caught in a situation over which they have no control. The Islamic method, then, does not favour an early split when signs of rebellion and hostility begin to appear. God is indeed All-Knowing, Aware of all things.” If they both want to set things aright, God will bring about their reconciliation. In all such situations, Islam recommends a different process of saving this great institution, the family, from collapse: “If you have reason to fear that a breach may occur between a (married) couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people. Similarly, these measures should not be used if it is felt that they will be ineffective or even counterproductive. At that stage there is a war between two hostile parties, each of them going out to smash the other. When rebellion is brought out into the open, these measures are useless. These measures are meant to deal with its early signs. All the measures so discussed apply in a situation where rebellion has not yet taken place.
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